Saturday, January 5, 2019

When Kylo Ate Buddy

Kylo ate Buddy.
The elf on the shelf.
Our Elf on the Shelf.
Kylo ate him.

Arm - gone
Stuffing - annihilated
Head - in tact, but detached.
Rest of body - mauled

Our dog ate our elf.

Beginning last year, I started treating Christmas as if it was the last Christmas the boys would believe in Santa. I went all in on the elf. All in on Santa. They were starting to doubt, and I wanted to keep the magic alive for as long as possible.

Buddy helped with that. The boys wrote him letters. They played along.  Sometimes I wondered if they still believed in Santa, but I never doubted that they believed in Buddy.

Around November this year, the boys started wondering when Buddy would come back. It was Eli who suggested sewing a sleeping bag and pillow for him.

Felt. check.
Needle. check
Thread. check

I taught Eli how to sew for that elf. Stitch by stitch, he sewed a white felt sleeping bag, and a stuffed, red pillow. Just the right size for our Buddy.

Did you know that elves usually return in December? Sometimes earlier, but usually it's December. Just depends on your elf.

Eve of December 1st.
I read the boys a story and tucked them in.

And just like normal, long after I tucked them in, Lex asked to get a drink.

If only I had gotten the drink myself, this whole thing would have been avoided. I usually just get the drink myself. 

This was the picture I was able to snap of Buddy after the boys were in bed, but before I went to bed.

Look how cute he is in that sleeping bag that Eli hand stitched, head resting on his soft pillow. And that note. Isn't it cute how he reverses some of his letters? The boys would have been thrilled to find him like this, all tucked in with his miniature book about Christmas.

Lex returned with his glass of water.

"Yeah, Bud?"
"Buddy came back tonight."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, but Kylo must have gotten a hold of him, and Buddy is all over the floor."
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

I rushed downstairs and saw the murder scene.

 There he lay, shredded, his guts spilling out, his slobber soaked red suit covered in teeth marks. And Lex had witnessed it all (not the actual murder, but the aftermath). I have pictures... but I'm not going to show them. I would hate for them to fall into the wrong hands. It's sad to see an elf mauled to pieces.

Well I guess this is the year we stop believing in Santa. Am I going to have to design an elf size body-cast tonight? Is it possible to reattach the head? Is Walmart still open? How am I possibly going to explain this to the boys? I had such high hopes for this elf this Christmas. Why does parenting have to be so hard?!? Is there anyway to fix this?

Oh, what we do for our kids.

The next morning, a letter arrived from the North Pole, explaining that Buddy was taken back for some repairs and would be back as good as new in a jiffy. We had 24 hours to fix this.

The next day - Christmas shopping!  While we shopped, Jeremy went on a stealth mission to locate our elf. Note to self - they've changed the design of elves, so if yours arrived more than a couple of years ago, it might be really hard to replace!

But we did it. We (and by we, I mean Jeremy), found our elf. He found him, he bought him, he hid him in the van for a safe transport back to our place, all without the boys suspecting a thing.

The next morning, Buddy was back in action with a note that included some stern words for Kylo. This time, Buddy was well out of reach at the top of the tree.

And all was right in the elf world.

For now, Kylo definitely deserved this note from Buddy.

Are there elf awards? Or parents of elf awards? Because I deserve a medal for pulling this one off.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, the sleeping bag and pillow survived.


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